Meet the Epitome of Evil...Ann Coulter

I really hate Ann Coulter. Watching the above video made me viscerally angry. My stomach started churning (a sure sign that my acid reflux a la Ashlee Simpson was on the rise), and I felt a sudden urge to throw a pie at Ann's sad attempt at a "sexy" black dress (which actually reminds me of something from Liz Hurley's reject pile...circa 1994).

Anyways, fashion criticism aside, Ann reminds me of that loud, lanky, blond girl with stringy hair that no amount of John Frieda products could volumnize and an endless array of skimpy outfits from high school. She wasn't especially attractive but her loudness and ability to make pointed racist remarks about class minority/underdog granted her some social standing in the hierarchal world of high school. Despite her grating personality, her over the top, sensationalist comments kept her from being relegated her to the loser lunch table, but internally, you just hoped she got expelled or pregnant...or something.

Ann Coulter reminds me of this girl I knew in middle school, Betsey Jean (ahh, the South with its love of two-part names), who told me that I was "one of the Indians who wasn't that bad." Poor Betsey, still stuck in 1946, when India and Pakistan were one. She liked to call ethnic kids "damn foreigners" in her charming Southern drawl (granted, this was when said ethnic kid made her mad). Betsey finally left Carlisle our senior year, under a cloud of hazy circumstances, and unlike our gal Ann, she luckily sunk into anonymity.

And so, while freedom of speech rules, I really wish that Ann would shut the hell up.

--By Mariam, who feels that YouTube revolutionized Al Gore's second most important invention (after global warming).