Summer Camp for Dorks

Sometimes, I look around the darkened classroom of HEB 110, where my medical school classes are held, and think, How the hell did I end up here with these people? I have cooler conversational talking points than these people who have dedicated their lives to getting papers published on the loss of function of the p53 gene leading to cancerous growth. I like cooler things - i.e. One Republic, This American Life, and the troubling prevalence of art theft in Europe. I don't belong here, I think, Get me out of here! After all, Medical school is a place where right-brained creativity goes to die.

Then yesterday, I had an epiphany. What if I wasn't that cool? I perished the thought. But then I reflected upon my life, filled with a lottery of dorky episodes, and I realized, of course, I would end up in medical school.

While Clique A all jettisoned off to Europe to have romantic adventures during the summer, I attended dorky summer camps for the academically gifted. Examples: Summer Ventures in Science and Math, Bridgewater Leadership Camp, and my personal favorite, YADAPP, an anti-drug camp that Students Against Drug Driving (SADD) nominated me for. I told people that I wanted to go to "drugs are bad" camp because it would look excellent on my college applications, but who was I kidding? I wanted to go to YADAPP because deep down inside, I was a hard core dork.

YADAPP stands for Youth Alcohol and Drug Abuse Prevention Project. SADD sent me and three other members to this summer conference in northern Virginia. Anyway, I realized right when I got there that this camp was going to be extra-loserish, even for me. I had secretly been looking forward to going to the conference, since I had pledged not to drink or use tobacco products for SADD leadership (easy since I was a devout Muslim), and I wanted to inflict my view upon the less-devout masses (hmm...sounds sort of like American hegemony?).

There was a long line of teenagers from various Virginia schools, and from the looks of it, mostly urban, public schools, which was frightening for a rural hick like me. On the opening day ceremony, they played the song "Lean on Me" and made us go through these pre-determined hand motions. Anyone who knows me will say, "UM OMG I cannot picture you doing that, Mare" (Bushra). Well, I had to, and it easily the most idiotic experience of my life, because the song was not only horrifically dorky, but the hand motions added a level of embarrassment that I cannot even describe. We had to sing this song every morning and whenever we encountered another YADAPP group out on the quad. Here is a video of the YADAPP crew singing the song with hand motions. Seriously, a must see:

lean on me

Things only got worse. Our group was one of the only one in the entire camp that was filled with only white people (+ one brown saracen). When we were told we would have to do a skit to exemplify our feelings about YADAPP, I grew even more agitated. For some reason, the white people decided it would be a good idea for us to make up a rap while clapping to a beat that Heather, my cheerleader friend, created. Nevertheless we made up a corny rap, and my line went something like "Makin' new friends and being together till the end."

We were one of the last groups to go up on stage in front of a crowd of 500 people. Well, our rap was, shall we say, culturally different than the rest of the acts. The other groups did elaborate step performances, which were amazing. Since I was from preppy Carlisle, where I was the poster child for diversity, I had no idea what steps was but found it as exotic as the Bedouin tribe that picks up Ralph Fiennes in The English Patient. Well, we suffered through our dorky white people + 1 brown person rap, and I remember hearing laughter from the crowd (yes, laughter at a rap that was meant to be decidedly earnest and not funny). Afterwards, Heather blamed me for "messing up the beat during the rap." At this point, I realized that I could never look at this girl the same way again - she was reaching a level of gunner that even I could not fathom.

I put YADAPP on my college applications, and I highly doubt it helped me get into UNC. And while there were traces of nerd within me, as my friend Naadia continually likes to point out**, I ultimately realized that even dorks have a threshold.

--By Mariam, who urges you to YouTube YADAPP and experience the Hallowed Halls of Dorkdom for yourself.

** This coming from a girl who tabbed her law school books to every inch of their life.