Vampire Weeknights

I've started to work the night shift in the emergency department, and I can tell you right now that I would make a horrible vampire doctor (or Dr. Acula). I do not look elegantly disheveled with perfectly tousled hair after sleeping all day like the vampires all the tweens are into these days. I certainly don't have the patience to stare intensely at anybody like that dude from the Twilight movie. I usually describe myself as a night person, but this schedule is really messing with my flow. I perpetually live in sweats transitioning from scrubs to PJs to workout clothes then back to scrubs. The workout clothes are simply prophylactic to encourage me to work out, lest my regular pants not fit after my month of elastic waistbands is over. I could conceivably get out of the house in the afternoon when I wake up, but it doesn't feel right. I feel like I'm living in a dream world where work at night doesn't really count, but I have to work all night, so my days are not terribly productive. I sit around waiting to work all night, and then I work all night. Sleeping during the day is not great either, light always manages to seep through the seams of my blackout curtains and Teddy often barks at the stupid birds chirping outside. This experience brings my complaints about residency up to two:

1) Night Shift
2) Residents who complain about residency

On to the topic of complaints, I know that everybody needs somebody to vent to about the crap you have to deal with during residency, but seriously every resident gets over worked with crap - stop complaining about it! Just get a little attitude adjustment and before you know it your month of torture will be replaced with different month with possibly less torture. I'm a little peeved at myself right now just for complaining about the complaints. But seriously, this is my conversation with any intern in almost any specialty - I have had this interaction on multiple occasions from 3rd year of med school till now.

Me: how was your night?
Other intern (OI): *extreme exacerbation* I had to see (insert any number from 1 to 100) patients last night, and I still have to finish (insert any number from 1 to 100) notes! *prolonged sigh*
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, did you at least get to see anything interesting?
OI: Not really. *lets out loud involuntary groan as something on computer doesn't work*
Me: Well, you at least you get to go home soon?
OI: I'm so tired I can't even function right now *falls asleep in chair*

This is how the interaction should go:

OI: how was your night?
Me: TOTALLY AWESOME!

Ok, so maybe that's a little hypomanic reaction, but when you're sleep deprived you have an excuse to act a little loopy every once in a while (as long as there is no alcohol involved). I will admit Surgery gets worked harder than say Pediatrics, but if you picked Surgery, it's your own fault you're so busy (sorry Abby - I still heart you). At least the night shift slows down around 3 am and affords some free moments for blogging - live from the ED!

--By Farrah, who's nickname in the ED has been declared to be "Fawcett head"