Agree to Disagree

One man's trash may very well be another man's treasure, but can these men be friends? To form a great friendship, you have to have some things in common. They should hate some of the things that you hate (strangers, talking on the phone with strangers), and they should love some of the things that you love (This American Life, my dog Teddy). We happily agree with each other that our taste in movies, music, clothing, and even toilet paper is generally more awesome than the taste of all the losers around us. Most of my friendships proceed like this indefinitely until we inevitably discover we cannot agree on something. Will this something tear our friendship apart? When these disagreements pop up, most friends will take any of the following actions:

1 - Drop/change the subject: I guess I might vote for Obama... your shirt is super cute!
2 - Make fun of me for my position until one of us moves away/becomes deaf/dies: It's okay, vote for Obama. I always knew you were an elitist who hated the working class. :p
3 - Start a civil debate: This is why I'm voting for Obama, why are voting for Clinton?
4 - Aggressively argue for their own position. These are the kinds of friends you can't bring up politics or religion around because they will take over the conversation. If I say I'll vote for Obama, will you shut up?

Those individuals who find themselves in the fourth category too often don't make friends easily, or I should say they don't keep friends easily. If you truly disagree, somebody has to eventually drop the subject or risk going from category three to four, where feelings are hurt. If you get too aggressive about your own opinion, I'm liable to stick my fingers in my ears and yell, "LALALALALALAALA!" until you stop talking, and I wont want to hang out with you anymore. (That's why I haven't hung out with Tom Cruise since he called Matt Lauer "glib") An occasional discussion in the third category may be a welcome intellectual discussion, but it carries a danger of escalating and ruining friendships. This is why Trivial Pursuit can be a very dangerous game. In this battle of wits, people will argue anything to get their pie piece. (I still think "the tube"="the underground" you competitive bastards out there!! I want my pie piece! *sob*)

I've started to realize that every good friendship also has a healthy element of disagreement. It keeps things interesting. I've also realized that if Abby or Mariam gives me a food suggestion in a restaurant, it is the exact thing I should NOT order. At least I got to try a lot of interesting foods I didn't like on the road to this discovery. Abby and I recently discovered we might disagree on more than we thought. We went to see Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day in an empty theater, where we could talk as loud as we pleased, and had the following conversation:

Farrah: That guy's pretty cute.
Abby: He's okay... *silence*
F: Oh no, that guy's cuter!
A: *silence*... um, he's not my type
F: Look at him play the piano, he has to be growing on you.
A: I'm starting to realize we have nothing in common

Fortunately, our friendship falls into the second category, and I've progressed to telling Abby a friendly, "You're stupid," on a regular basis. I think friendships are happiest in the second category. I know I'll never convince my friend Brittany to like South Park as much as I do, but I can just make fun of her obvious hatred of all fat comedians (Cartman, Chris Farley, Jack Black) because she's a "fatist." Next time you find your friend on the verge of offending you, just tell them how their shirt is super cute (or make fun of their ugly shirt), and go on your merry way.

--By Farrah, who found she simply can't focus when it's so nice outside, so she hopes it rains today