Traumarama: Future Doctor kills Bugs

As some of you may remember, I have killed bugs before. (see post: POP QUIZ) I left the splattered remains of that particular bug from the "Pop Quiz" post as a reminder to other bugs not to fuck with me. The dark smudge remained on my wall for a many months, and no bugs had dared venture forth.

I mooch off my older sister and husband by living in their house. My sister reads this blog and knew the contents of the dark smudge. She had been begging me to clean it off for weeks and weeks. Finally, she brought it up the day before the anatomy final. Sarah and Abby were over at my house studying. They pretty much all agreed that I should clean the dead spider off the wall. The peer pressure was too much to handle, and I went upstairs with a bottle of 409 tight in my grasp. The spider was gone, and I'm sure his little spider family rejoiced that he had a proper spider burial in the trashcan.

Later that night, I was quietly sitting on my bed going over flash cards. Then I saw something dark creeping over my sweats. It was a stink bug! (You may be thinking "um... a stink bug? Is this another term you crazy Coloradans use that the rest of the country doesn't?" So I looked up the proper name too: it's the Western Conifer Seed Bug.) When I saw the offending creature, I shrieked like any normal girl and threw it on the ground. I went back to studying my flash cards, but my mind was preoccupied. What if it came back onto my bed?

I had to go bug hunting. Over the course of the next hour and a half, I saw no less than 3 of these bugs. I'd kill one crawling back on my bed, only to see another one crawling on my shoulder while I was brushing my teeth. By the time I killed the third bug, I was thinking "Holy Bananas! Dead spider on the wall really was an effective insect repellant!" But the dead spider was gone, and the bugs were back. It was really upsetting the night before the test. That was an hour and a half that I could have used to learn about the mucous membrane innervation in the pharynx. By the way, I'm not totally against bugs - I've held a friendly taranchula (Rosie - the Chilean Rose Hair Tarantula) when I went to the Denver Butterfly Pavillion on a field trip. They just don't belong in my room. End of story.

--By Farrah, who knows this post is boring but feels an obligation to post