Entry from Second Row, Right Side Aisle

Today we have a contribution from a guest blogger, Emily, who sits with Jack and Christy in the second row, right side aisle.

MR. CLEAN IS MY BOYFRIEND

So I think I'm going to go and get one of those handy-dandy Swiffer cleaners and some Clorox wipes. I know, they're too expensive and very yuppie-ish, but OH SO HANDY! And come to think of it, I'm kind of turning into a yuppie anyway, aren't I? I'm 22 (young), smack-dab in the middle of Toledo (urban), and learning to be a doctor (professional).... scary. Anyway, besides, I just don't have the time to be all housewifely and actually mix up a batch of Lysol and use rags and then hang the rags to dry and then wash them and blah-di-blah blah. That's one thing that sucks about being a med student.... no time or money.

I also need to get it out of my head that weekends are when it's time to clean. That's always how it was when I was growing up, so I think it's embedded in my brain. But it makes for a messy, dirty little apartment here, because if I get busy and don't clean the kitchen on the weekend, I'm like, "Dangit! Now I have to wait until next weekend!" Um, no. Cleaning is allowed on weeknights too, I promise. (Note me talking to myself. They say it's one of the first signs of insanity, and I do it all the time.)

Another thing. My dishwasher? SCARY! It's like a separate entity all by itself. Ignore the fact that it's loud.... many dishwashers are, no big deal..... it's still scary.
First thing: It doesn't turn off when you open the door. Like, if you start it and then realize you forgot to put in a pan? TOO LATE, the water cannot be stopped. The dishwasher never looks back, it is driven and one-track-minded. Creepy.
Second thing: It is angry and forceful. If I put lightweight plastic dishes in there, like plastic cups or tupperware containers, they end up all upside down and on the floor of the dishwasher and full of water, and very traumatized. My dishwasher is a bully, for sure.
Third thing: It is HUNGRY. I put my contact case in there, to get it good and clean? Opened up the dishwasher, and the contact case was gone. The dishwasher ate it. It did the same thing to the bolt that held on the handle of my saucepan lid. Yes people, my dishwasher managed to unscrew the bolt from the lid and eat it. Seriously, it's gone. The dishwasher scares me.

Hmm... I just said I don't have time to be all housewifely, but I look back and see that I've filled up three paragraphs with RAMBLING ABOUT HOUSECLEANING. I need to not be so lame. I need to lead an exciting and eventful life that I can look back on and smile and tell thrilling stories to my grandchildren.

But first, I'm going grocery shopping.

--By Emily Muller, a MS1 who knows lots of things about science.