Teaching the MCAT

I graduated a year early from undergrad, and decided to take a year off before medical school. For some reason, I decided I could make a few easy bucks by teaching MCAT preparation. I had not actually paid attention during my own MCAT classes, but my score had magically gone up 11 points. There had to be something informative about these $1500 classes. Also, since I had paid so much for these classes, I might as well get something back. Looking at these classes from the inside gave me a whole new insight into my own MCAT teacher. I thought she had been unbelievably dull, but well dressed. She might have actually been pretty chill, but the script she had to read was unbelievably dull, plus she was forced to wear professional attire. Already a shining beacon of awkwardness, I now had to play the role of MCAT teacher. I am readily mistaken for a 14 year old at airports, and putting me in professional clothing just makes me look even more ridiculous. I do not know why I thought I could teach pre-meds. I really should have known better because I had been in classes with most of the people who would become my students. You and I both know that 90% of pre-medical students are egotistical control freaks.

When I walked into my first class, I got the same look from my students that I had given my MCAT teacher. It easily conveyed their inner thoughts of "um... when does the real teacher get her? This chick was in my O chem class, and I'm pretty sure I did better than her." I knew I had to impress them somehow, so I introduced myself trying to come off like Doogie Howser: "Hi, I'm Farrah, and I graduated in only THREE years from college with a degree in Biochemistry. Soon, I'll be going to medical school in Toledo." They were not impressed, so I tried to get through the script I had been given. I encouraged the class to ask questions, secretly hoping they did not have any. I took a different approach and I decided to impress them with my incredible short term memory for names. I slyly made a seating chart of where everybody was sitting, so I could call people out by name while pretending to look at my script. This method works because people do not like being called out by name and were being forced to pay attention. If I had been the student, it would have been my worst nightmare. My first class was definitely somewhat disastrous, so I knew I had to work really hard to make the second one better.

I aggressively did extra research on my next physics lecture so I could field any questions about how the see saw model of torque could apply to clinical situations. I drew ridiculous pictures and diagrams for them, and could not stop laughing as I made them. This sometimes started them going because they could laugh at me laughing at myself, and I didn't mind as long as they were happy. I tried coming up with cheesy mnemonics to tell them. "To remember Charles Law relates to Temperature and Volume, I like to think about how the show Charles in Charge was on TV," I'd tell them with enthusiasm rivaled only by a cheerleader on speed. I'd get no reaction out of them. It's like they didn't watch Charles in Charge, but honestly who didn't watch Charles in Charge?! I knew they were messing with me, so I followed up with, "You guys don't like Scott Baio?" I got two or three laughs and considered the class a success. When I was done teaching, I sincerely told the ungrateful little snots that I wanted them to do really well on the exam. I did actually want them to do well and felt really responsible for their performance. I volunteered to hand out granola bars on test day that the company gave me, and wished all my students good luck on the test. Even if they didn't like me (and I'm pretty sure they didn't), I sometimes won them over with my sincerity at the end.

Eventually I fell into a groove and enjoyed teaching a little bit more. The testing company had given us the approach that as teachers we are experts on the MCAT, and we don't necessarily need to know anything beyond the scope of what the MCAT tests. While that works for teaching SAT or ACT, that doesn't apply to teaching pre-meds because you need to know everything about everything for them to pay attention to you. Once I figured this out and arrived for every single class over prepared, I could teach them a lot easier. It almost makes me sympathize with my current professors in medical school because we really are a pain in the ass to teach. Almost, but not quite.

--By Farrah, who sometimes wonder what would have happened if she paid attention during her MCAT class