Why I Don't Watch Medical Dramas Anymore

TV shows about doctors are inescapable these days - doctors in tailor-fitted scrubs and A-line white coats are on every single network - CBS, Fox, ABC, NBC. Since I am a major TV whore (I am emotionally attached to my DVR and used to aspire to be a writer for the oh-so-illustrious TV Guide), I invariably watch all these medical dramas - Grey's Anatomy, House, and ER. Ever since I started medical school, though, medical themed TV shows have really lost their appeal. Here are reasons why:

1. Whenever I watched Grey's or House, instead of feeling immersed in the lives of these perpetually bed-swapping interns, I would get really stressed out. Some patient of the week would always have a disease that I had studied recently in class, and I would just start quizzing myself about everything I knew about said disease (which was usually not much). It was also a horrible reminder that I should be studying rather than clocking in more hours in Total Time Spent Wasting Mindless Television that Caters to the Plebeian Masses. And so, medical dramas are no longer a one-hour escape from the monotony of med school - they are just annoying quizzes on the causes of jaundice and lupus coming from the mouths of Patrick Dempsey and John Stamos rather than CBC or Dr. Baptista.

2. Even though I haven't stepped foot in a hospital this year, and most of my day was spent in HEB 100, it still doesn't take an experienced medical genius to figure out that these plot lines are completely unrealistic. Now, of course, everyone knows this on some level, but now, I have realized that show runner Shonda Rhimes even gets basic details wrong. For example, after a months in anatomy, I know that scrubs are universally unflattering on everyone (it doesn't matter how skinny you are or if you are gymorexic). They are super baggy (in the style of M.C. Hammer pants) and drape your figure like a body bag, rather than actual clothes. However, on Grey's Anatomy, Izzie, Meredith, and Christina's scrubs fit more like couture from the House of Chanel than the ugly puke green scrubs I had to wear for months. Also, Dr. Cameron's white coat on House is another point of contention (or source of envy) for me. Her coat is so perfectly A-line and accentuates her slim figure beautifully, while mine (provided courtesy of UTCOM) is huge and baggy and makes me look like an overweight, middle-aged mom rather than a fashionable professional.

3. I used to love House - Hugh Laurie has really dreamy eyes, and he is such a bad ass! However, after a whole block on Behavioral Science, one of my teachers diagnosed Gregory House with antiosocial personality disorder (yes, that's the one most commonly associated with sociopaths!). That one lecture has completely ruined the show for me. It actually frightens me that a sociopath treating patients is an actual premise for a show, and Hugh Laurie wins an Emmy and Golden Globe for his performance every, single year.

And so, these are the reasons why medical students should avoid TV dramas set in hospitals. You know you want to watch true trash television like Laguna Beach, anyway.

--By Mariam, who is viscerally disturbed by the massive amounts of free time the summer provides.